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one is the snake

by eLI wErner harOLD WALLiS

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1.
my left foot 02:38
my left foot showed up first in a box on harper's doorstep my right foot showed up last in a box at lord selkirk they found my chest in a suitcase au coin de st. catherine et st. laurent but they'll never find my heart no they'll never find my heart don't you know that you destroy me? don't you know? and yknow it's kind of a relief cause i hate my fucking body it's such an ugly goddamn prison when it's not entwined with yours i couldn't eat and i couldn't sleep so what difference does it make? every day a gauntlet of my thoughts at least this way i can float and watch as you fry it up with dill and mayo struggle to keep it down trying to eat my fucking heart trying to eat my heart don't you know that you destroy me? don't you know? i don't know why but you destroy me i don't know why
2.
tiny house 04:32
i have a dream i have a dream it's about you it's about me living in a tiny house under the mountain with a concrete lawn and a little porch where you can ash it's two bedrooms one and a half bathrooms it's got a purple door but the sidings are gray and inside are more guitars than i can play linoleum i sweep three times a week and a hole in the wall from that one fight i don't know why my brain does this shit try to forget you then i dream that you wanna talk just wanna talk we split this house in two marked by your clothes on the floor your books are tattered my mostly unread and there's dust on the little jesus we brought from rome one week it's a home one week it's a siege and all the while i just wanna sleep with the enemy you say i work too much you say this country sucks i know i try too hard i don't know why my brain freaks when it's just a dream but that house is pretty cute don't think i'd turn it down
3.
isaac 02:52
you were reading numbers in the dark to trick your brain and plant a seed so much of life lost to sleep i'd like to see your integer dreams sometimes i wonder if your mind has a row for human faces in all the shelves of formulas the hidden jars of your emotions isaac, oh isaac what are we doing? we laid in your orchard now you're burning its trees isaac, oh isaac i've never heard god isaac, oh isaac let me be your ram oh isaac don't you know your book'll be read aeons from now remembered for your genius not as the little lamb who lived have you seen an axe of gold? have you tread your mother's basement? do you believe in heaven? is that why your body scares you? isaac, oh isaac don't worry about your brother he never was born he never suffered isaac, oh isaac i had a dream of you and i and no one else rewriting this world's laws
4.
eden, idaho 04:27
two boys from eden, idaho sit at the side of the road they're taking potshots at the passing semis for no reason at all they've got a .22 and camo vests over their slayer shirts they've got a shack out there in the brush scrap metal wedged between two rocks they spend a lot of nights out there with their stash of pbrs a deck of cards three stained playboys they shoot the shit over a barrel fire about obama and teddy k some nights they get drunk enough to talk about god and see the voids in eachothers' eyes a widower from eden, idaho treats his t-bird like a child he polishes her up three times a week and every thursday takes her out he puts in reign in blood on real low so he can listen to her purr and he blows down those winding roads like they lead to better years and in the night and wind he can see her face straining not to smile as she tells him to slow down but baby slowing down don't make it last he says to himself before the shot and swerve and every night they drank she'd talk about the future all the roadtrips they would take one night in eden, idaho bitter flames licked a careless sky one night in eden, idaho i wondered what i'd do without you and every night in eden, idaho we wonder which one is the snake and every night in eden, idaho we wonder which one is the snake
5.
solvent 03:19
silence the deadly golden cry out don't stay behind stay up internal breakdown bloodflow drip from the eyes incest the inner reason fast life lay in decline sank back in fresh arrival face split with life so why remorse a heartless soul senseless no apparent self control since then cold uncaring accusations run wild accelerate the heartbeat or so seen with their eyes twisting with truth or fact a kind of story that lies motion sickness is screaming stab cut retard my mind remorse a heartless soul senseless no apparent self control tiresome a sacred leader sensations more than die fortune is worshiped highly one day to pray then die melting in fiery sand quick sink in false so high over erase replace cancel the way a trial remorse a heartless soul senseless no apparent self control
6.
rat's blood pools on concrete as they remember the rain, remember the plague i hate all the homes i'll never live in with their sad yards and neglected lives don't you know that you destroy me? don't you know? you're quitting again, this time it's for real smoke seen through glass and the sound of rain i hate that dingy apartment where you tried to end it i don't know why but i dream of it you once said that every breath is just one step closer to death so hold my fucking throat don't you know that you destroy me? don't you know? i don't know why but you destroy me i don't know why
7.

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released August 16, 2015

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Eli Wallis Vancouver, British Columbia

Eli Wallis is a poet from Kamloops.

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